


The Dust of Broken Hearts

by QianLan



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, Fluff, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QianLan/pseuds/QianLan
Summary: What if Poe and Finn met before The Finalizer?What if Poe had been high on a love potion at the time and said a lot of pretty things that he later forgot?What if Finn thought that just meant that Poe wasn't interested in him?What if that definitely wasn't the case...





	The Dust of Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend, Elle, who recently reminded me how awesome the film WILLOW is. 
> 
> And yes, I "borrowed" a bit from Willow in setting up the premise for this fic.
> 
>  
> 
> This starts sometime before TFA.

 

 

Karé looked over at Suralinda.  “Just once,” she said.  “Just once, I’d like one of these missions to go right.”

 

Suralinda threw back her head and laughed as Snap said, “Come on, that’s just inviting the universe to screw things up.”

 

“I think the universe does fine without our help, sweetheart,” Karé said, ducking a blast.

 

“Still, you shouldn’t jinx things,” Snap said, popping up from behind an overturned cart to shoot.

 

“I have to agree with Wexley on this one,” Suralinda said, eying the squadron of Stormtroopers slowly pushing them back towards a dead end.  She looked around.  “Ummmm, I hate to mention this, but did anyone see which way Poe went?”

 

Snap jerked his head to the right.  “Down that alley.  We really should have followed him.” 

 

“Anyone know what the vendor hit him with,” Karé asked.

 

Suralinda shook her head, feeling a bit guilty, as the powdery substance he hit Poe with was intended for her.  “I’m sure he’s fine,” she said, without conviction.

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe was panting, and things were getting a little fuzzy.  He leaned against a stone wall to catch his breath and try to settle his thoughts.

 

They’d come to Carida to follow up on a lead about new First Order training facilities—and while Poe was loathe to be on a planet that had always held Imperial (and now First Order) sympathies, he was actually a bit relieved not to be looking for Lor San Tekka at the moment.  Although he knew that would be coming soon enough.

 

Poe pushed himself off the wall and stumbled into an even darker and narrower alley, trying to figure out how he’d ended up in the maze of backstreets that surrounded the market.  He remembered they’d done most of their surveillance on the new facility and only needed to check in with one of Suralinda’s sources when…  Poe blinked, licking his lips and trying to remember.  _Something went wrong._

 

Poe thought for a moment and then remembered a vendor shouting at Suralinda.  Poe had stepped between them just as the man threw a bag of dust at her.  It hit Poe square in the face.  Poe remembered blinking and coughing.  And feeling tingly all over.

 

_And that’s when the Stormtroopers arrived._

_Two squadrons_ , Poe reminded himself.

 

He’d managed to catch the attention of one squad and lure them away from the market while Karé, Snap, and Suralinda held off the other.

 

_And that’s how I ended up here._

_Right?_

 

Poe stumbled a bit, pulling at his collar.

 

_Is it hot here or what?_

 

Poe licked his lips, suddenly wanting nothing more than to curl up for a long nap.

 

“Freeze,” came a voice from behind him.

 

Poe raised his hands and slowly turned.

 

A Stormtrooper stood with his blaster aimed at Poe.

 

“Hey,” Poe said.  “Guess you caught me.”  He giggled.  _Why is this funny?_   For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why, but it was.

 

“Put your hands on top of your head.”

 

Poe tried to fight down his giggles as he started to put his hands on top of his head.  As he did, he lost his balance and swayed heavily to the right.  “Ahhhhhhhh…I don’t think so, buddy.”  Poe stood back up and looked over at the trooper.  “You have a name, buddy?”

 

“Put your hands on top of your head.”

 

“But what’s your name,” Poe asked, smiling and arching an eyebrow. 

 

The trooper figured it was supposed to look dashing.  It didn’t. 

 

“My name’s Poe,” Poe said.  He pointed to his chest.  “Poe.”  He leaned forward, expectantly.  “And you are?”

 

“FN-2187,” the trooper said.

 

“F-N…”  Poe blinked and shook his head.  “What?”

 

“FN-2187,” the trooper repeated.

 

 _It is hot here_ , Poe thought, pulling at his jacket, as he tried to process the gibberish the buckethead was telling him.  “FN,” Poe slurred.  “F-N…effffffffff-ennnnnnnnnn…”  Poe wobbled.  “F-N, F-N, F-N…”  He kept repeating it until the letters ran together.  He suddenly stood up straight, eyes bright.  “Finn,” he said with a smile.  “I’m gonna call you Finn!”

 

The trooper remained silent.

 

“You don’t like Finn,” Poe asked, the hurt clear in his voice.

 

 _Is this guy drunk_ , FN-2187 thought.

 

Poe staggered back, his hands coming out to try to balance him.  The trooper took a step forward.  “Woah,” Poe said, stopping and reaching up for his head.  Everything was spinning. 

 

The trooper took another step forward, as if to help.  “You okay?”

 

“Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmm,” Poe hummed, smiling at the trooper before stumbling backwards and sagging into a wall.  “Feel warm,” he said, sliding down it with a goofy grin.

 

The trooper jumped forward, taking off his helmet and dropping his blaster.  He gathered Poe up, lightly slapping the other man’s cheeks.  “Hey?  You with me?  Uhhhh…Poe?”

 

“Mmmmmmmm?”  Poe blinked up at the man, with sleepy eyes and a dopey smile.  “Finn,” he said.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Poe looked up into the prettiest brown eyes he’d ever seen.  _I didn’t know Stormtroopers could be this beautiful…or this nice._   Poe giggled to himself as he realized he was in the guy’s arms.  He looked back up at the trooper.  “I love you,” Poe said.

 

FN-2187 nearly dropped him.  “Huh?”

 

“I love you,” Poe said again, earnestly.  His smile grew.

 

“Is this some sort of trick?”

 

“No, Finn, I…”  Poe reached up, grasping at the trooper’s armor, trying to pull him closer.  “I…I love you.”

 

“Okay,” FN-2187 said, looking around the space.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Finn,” Poe said, “Finn…Finn.”  He smiled.  “My Finn.”

 

“ _Your_ Finn?”

 

“Oh, Finn, you’re wonderful!  Do you know that?  I mean, you…you’re fireflies and shooting stars and the smell of rain first thing in the morning.  You’re that warm feeling a being gets when he comes home and how it feels to lick koyo juice off your arm.”  Poe reached up and brushed his fingers across the other man’s cheek.  “You’re every good thing in the galaxy.”

 

Finn stopped breathing for a moment.  No one in his life had ever talked to him like that.  He blinked.  “What?”

 

“I love you,” Poe said, his hand cupping the trooper’s cheek.  “Let’s get away from here and I’ll…I’ll show you the galaxy, Finn.”

 

FN-2187 could feel the word _yes_ bubbling out of his chest and he nearly said it, but then he heard the clanging of boots not too far away.  _That’ll either be the Resistance or the rest of the squad._

_Crap._

 

He quickly started disentangling himself from the other man.

 

“No,” Poe said, trying to grab on to FN-2187’s armor and failing. 

 

“I have to go.”

 

“Come with me,” Poe begged.  “I love you!”

 

FN-2187 stopped, his hands poised above his helmet and blaster.  A part of his soul was screaming that he should just shuck off his armor and join this crazy man.  He hesitated.

 

But then he heard shouting.  “I can’t.”

 

As he grabbed his things, he heard the other man scramble up.  He turned and Poe grabbed him, pulling him into a searing kiss.

 

As it broke, FN-2187 felt lightheaded, dazed.  He reached for his lips.  He’d never been kissed like that before.  “Kriff,” he just barely managed.

 

Poe stared into his eyes.  “I love you.”

 

FN-2187 opened his mouth, wishing he could say something, _anything_ , back.  Instead, he gave the man a curt nod.  “I know,” he said, before putting on his helmet and running off.

 

Poe stood there, wobbling, his hands reaching for the mystery man who’d stolen his heart.  “Finn?”

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe blinked and immediately regretted it.  “Bright,” he rasped out.  He licked his chapped lips.  “Too bright.”

 

The lights dimmed as he heard a droid’s voice announcing, “Tell Dr. Kalonia that Commander Dameron is awake.”

 

A few moments later, Poe heard the doctor.  “Poe?  Poe?”

 

He blinked his eyes open again.  “Yeah, doc?”

 

He could hear the smile in her voice.  “Good to have you back with us.”

 

“Yeah,” Poe said, straining to push himself up.

 

“Easy,” she said, moving to help him. 

 

When he was sitting up, he opened his eyes all the way.  “I’m on base,” he said, looking around.

 

“Yes,” Dr. Kalonia said.  “How much do you remember?”

 

“Ummmmmm,” Poe smacked his lips, trying to remember.  “Uh, it’s kinda fuzzy?”

 

“Try,” Dr. Kalonia said.

 

Poe sighed.  “Ummmmmm, we were in the market on Carida, and Suralinda pissed off that big guy and…”  Poe squinted, as if he was trying to see it.  “And he threw a bag full of something in my face and…”  He cocked his head to the side.  “There were Stormtroopers.”

 

“Yes,” the doctor said.  “What else?”

 

Poe had flashes.  A labyrinth of back alleys and a strange little space.  A beautiful smile.  Poetry.  Poe tried to hold onto it, but it all kept slipping away.  “I…I…I,” he shook his head, “I don’t remember.”

 

The doctor nodded.  “I figured that might be the case.”  She looked at her datapad.  “We tested your blood, and the man in the marketplace hit you with something the locals call _The Dust of Broken Hearts_.  It’s an,” she tried to hide her smile, “aphrodisiac.”

 

“A what now?”

 

The doctor pressed her lips together, trying in vain not to smile.  “An aphrodisiac.  Fairly strong one too, and in the dose you were exposed to, it can cause dizziness, disorientation, even short term amnesia.”

 

“Kriff,” Poe breathed out.

 

“It’s mostly used in the slave trade and in, ummmm, houses of ill repute.  Fills the recipient with feelings of lust or love, but…”  She finally looked back up at Poe.  “Given that you were unconscious and alone when the others found you, I think it’s safe to assume that it simply overwhelmed your system and you passed out.”

 

“Wow,” Poe said, still trying to take it all in.  “And now?”

 

“The side-effects should’ve run their course.  I’d like to keep you grounded,” Poe groaned, “just for another day, to make sure, but after that, you’re good to go.”

 

“Thanks, doc,” Poe said.

 

**# # # #**

 

Even before his run in with the crazy love-sick Resistance solider, FN-2187 had made up his mind.  He had to get out.  Then, when Slip died, everything solidified.  He had to escape, and he had to do it now.  He needed to get as far away from the Order as possible.  His one regret was that he hadn’t done it sooner, that he hadn’t taken Poe up on his crazy offer to run away on Carida.

 

But then, as if by some miraculous twist of fate, Poe— _his_ Poe—was the one staring down Kylo Ren on Jakku.  It was as if all the stars had aligned and given FN-2187 a second chance.  _No_ , he thought.   _Finn_.  _The name is Finn now._

 

Of course, even with the second chance, he still had to break Poe out and find a way off the _Finalizer_. 

 

The rumors were that Poe was a pilot. 

 

_If that’s the case, then we stand a fighting chance._

 

**# # # #**

 

Finn pulled off his helmet, waiting for Poe to say something—to smile and say “Finn”—but instead, Finn was facing a startled man.  _Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet?_ “This is a rescue.  I’m helping you escape.  Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

 

 _Remember me?_   _The guy_ _you confessed your undying love to?_

And then Poe was asking if he was with the Resistance.  “What?  No, no, no.  I’m breaking you out.”  _You idiot._  “Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

 

“I can fly anything,” Poe said, and Finn burst into a wide smile.  “Why?  Why are you helping me?”

 

 _Because I love you too_ , Finn nearly said, but then—in the next split second, he realized _, it was just a ploy.  It was a trick to get away from me.  He didn’t mean it._ Finn deflated.

 

_I still need a way off this ship._

 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Finn said.

 

“You need a pilot.”

 

 _Sure.  Whatever._   “I need a pilot.”

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe had the strangest sense of déjà vu looking at the trooper.  There was something about the guy that felt so familiar, so safe, so…  _I can’t be in love with someone I just met.  It isn’t kriffing possible._

 

And before he knew it, they were in the TIE fighter and he was asking the trooper’s name.

 

“FN-2187.”

 

“F…what?”

 

“That’s the only name they ever gave me,” Finn said.  _You gave me another, but we’re pretending that never happened._

 

“Well, I ain’t using it.  F-N, huh?”  It came to him in a flash.  “Finn!”  He smiled.  “I’m gonna call you Finn.  Is that all right?”

 

 _Is he trying to hurt me?_   “Finn.  Yeah, Finn.  I like that.”  _I always did._

 

“I’m Poe.  Poe Dameron.”

 

“Good to meet you, Poe,” Finn said, hoping Poe caught his pointed tone.

 

“Good to meet you too, Finn.”

 

Finn gripped the controls in front of him a bit tighter.  _You want to pretend Carida never happened?  Fine._

_It never happened._

 

**# # # #**

 

By the time the Resistance had settled on an unnamed Outer Rim moon in the wake of the Battle of Crait, Finn had almost convinced himself that Carida was just a crazy dream. 

 

Poe was clearly trying to pretend it never happened. 

 

And Finn was good at compartmentalizing things.  _If Poe can pretend, so can I._

 

_If only the moof-milker would stop flirting with me._

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe frowned, watching Finn discussing the weaknesses in Stormtrooper armor with what remained of their ground troops.  Everyone was outside today—they were most of the time, actually, as the Falcon quickly became far too cramped even for the small number of soldiers who remained.  But even outside, in the fresh air, sitting in the sun, Poe felt stifled _.  I feel like I messed up with him before I even had a chance to start something._

 

Kaydel sat down next to him.  “You could be a bit more obvious.”

 

Poe sighed but didn’t answer.

 

“Maybe start serenading him or something?”

 

“You want something,” Poe snapped, instantly hating his tone.

 

Thankfully, Kaydel was used to pining pilots.  She rolled her eyes and turned to him.  “Just tell him, Poe.”

 

“No,” Poe said.  “He’s in love with Rose.”

 

“He isn’t,” Kaydel said.

 

“Well, if it’s not her, then it’s Rey,” Poe said.

 

“Rey?  You mean the Rey who has been making out with Rose in the Falcon’s cargo hold for the last two nights?  That Rey?”

 

Poe nearly fell off the rock he was sitting on.  “What?”

 

“Oh, yeah.  The moment those two met, it was…well, awkward and erotic and…”  Kaydel shook her head.  “I feel sorry for whoever bunks next to them.”

 

“You’re joking, right?”

 

“No,” Kaydel said.  “I never joke about cute girls in love.”

 

Poe felt a pang in his chest.  _Jess._

 

Jess and Kaydel had been together for nearly a year now, and…  “We heard from Pava yet,” Poe asked.

 

“No,” Kaydel said.

 

He reached over and took her hand.  “She’ll call when she can,” he said.

 

Kaydel nodded.

 

Finn’s meeting broke up.

 

Kaydel slipped her hand out of Poe’s and pushed him.  “Go.  Talk to him.”

 

“Kaydel, there’s no reason to think that he—”

 

“Finn,” she called out.  “Come here.”

 

“Kaydel,” Poe hissed.

 

“Sorry, Commander.  I can’t hear you.”

 

Finn jogged over.  “Yeah?”

 

“Finn, Commander Dameron was wondering if you’d like to take a stroll around the perimeter with him.”

 

“Ummmmm,” Finn looked profoundly uncomfortable.

 

Kaydel shot a look to Poe, who ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I mean, if you aren’t busy or anything?”  He looked up, hopefully.

 

“Sure,” Finn heard himself say.

 

**# # # #**

 

They’d walked in silence for about ten minutes before they both started talking at once.

 

“Look, Poe, I—”

 

“Finn, I was wondering—”

 

They both gave nervous chuckles.

 

“You go first,” Poe said.

 

“I was just gonna say that I get it.”

 

“You do?”  _I’m so confused_.

 

“Yeah, the whole _let’s pretend that Carida didn’t happen_ thing.  I get it.  And I’m okay with it.”

 

Poe stopped.  “Huh?”

 

Finn was still walking.  He stopped and turned.  “Carida.  Pretending it didn’t happen.  I understand.”

 

Poe stepped up to Finn.  “How do you know about Carida?”

 

“Poe, please.  You don’t have to pretend when we’re alone.”

 

“I’m not pretending, Finn.  How in the kriff do you know about Carida?”

 

“Because I was there.  Remember?  In the alley?  _Finn, you’re fireflies and koyo juice and shooting stars and_ …”  He saw the utterly confused look in Poe’s eyes.  “And you telling me you loved me?”

 

“What,” Poe said.  “I…I…I…”  He shook his head.  “I need to sit down.”  He looked around and not finding any rocks, simply crumpled to the ground, pulling his legs up and hugging them to his chest.  He looked back up at Finn.  “I said what?”

 

Finn sat down next to him.  “You really don’t remember?”

 

Poe shook his head.  “Last thing I remember on Carida was being dosed with,” Poe groaned.  “Kriff.  _The Dust of Broken Hearts_!”

 

“The what of what?”

 

“ _The Dust of Broken Hearts_.  It’s a high-level aphrodisiac, and I got hit with some and basically everything after that is a blur.”

 

“So, you really don’t remember meeting me on Carida?”

 

“We met on Carida?”

 

“Are you being serious right now,” Finn asked.

 

“Finn, I have no memory of meeting anyone on Carida, least of all you.”  Poe shook his head.  “So, you’re saying that we…”

 

“Yeah,” Finn said, chuckling.  “You confessed your undying love.”

 

Poe groaned, falling back onto the ground and covering his face.  “Nooooooooo.”  He peeked from behind his fingers.  “Please tell me this is a joke.”

 

“No,” Finn said, suddenly feeling lighter than he had in weeks.  He came over next to Poe.  “You named me Finn.”

 

“No.”

 

“And then you started telling me how much you loved me.”

 

“No!”

 

“Yes,” Finn said.  “You asked me to run away with you.”

 

“But wait.  Are you saying I practically proposed to a Stormtrooper?”

 

“Well, I took the helmet off.”

 

“You did?”

 

“You were falling down.  I thought you were hurt.”

 

“And you came to my rescue?”

 

Finn laughed.  “Something like that.”

 

“And I really named you Finn?”

 

“You must really like that name,” Finn said.

 

“Kriff,” Poe said, shaking his head yet again.  “This is…this is…”

 

“Amazing,” Finn said.

 

“Yeah,” Poe said.  “Kriff.”

 

Finn laughed.  “All this time, I thought you were just trying to pretend it didn’t happen.”

 

Poe rolled over so he could face Finn.  “No!  You have to believe that if I had remembered, I would’ve said something.”

 

Finn chuckled, reaching over and stroking his thumb across Poe’s cheek.  “I believe you.”

 

Poe closed his eyes and then, he realized, _Finn is touching my cheek_.  He opened his eyes.  “Does this mean you might be open to going on a date with me sometime?”

 

Finn laughed loudly.  “Sure, Dameron.  I think that could be arranged.”  He cupped Poe’s cheek.  “Although I was kind of hoping for a repeat of our first kiss.”

 

“I kissed you?”  Poe fell back down onto the ground covering his face.  “Oh kriffing hell!  I kissed you.  Kriff.”  Poe shook his head.  “Please tell me it was good.”  He looked back over at Finn, peaking from between his fingers.  “Was it any good?”

 

“Best kiss of my life,” Finn said.

 

“Really,” Poe asked, moving his hands.  Finn nodded.  “And you want to do it again?”  Finn nodded.  Poe burst into a wide smile.  “Good going, Dameron!”

 

Finn rolled his eyes.  “So, are you going to kiss me or not?”

 

Poe reached up, pulling Finn down.  Their lips met, and Poe instantly felt tingly all over.  Finn hummed as he moved until he was practically on top of Poe, pressing down into him and getting instantly drunk on all the sensations bombarding him—the heat of Poe’s body, Poe’s hand in his hair, the softness of Poe’s lips.

 

It felt like years when Finn finally pushed away from Poe to catch his breath.  “Kriff,” he whispered.

 

“Kriffing hell,” Poe murmured, licking his lips.

 

“That was…that was…”

 

“Fireflies and shooting stars and the taste of koyo juice,” Poe said, suddenly flashing on a memory of being in Finn’s arms.

 

“Yeah.”  Finn laughed.  “You aren’t gonna forget _this_ too, are you, Dameron?”

 

“Well,” Poe said with a sly smile, “maybe we should kiss a few more times, just to be safe?”

 

“I can do that,” Finn said, leaning back in and vowing to keep _reminding_ Dameron until it stuck.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> **Thank you for reading!**
> 
>  
> 
> As always, I appreciate all comments and kudos.


End file.
